The family home is supposed to a haven, a place where members of the family can seek refuge and feel secure. However, it is common to have problems and conflicts at home. It is found out that imposing rules will actually result to a happier household. It is because when there are strict rules, the expectations are clear as well. If the expectations are clear, the responsibilities and boundaries are well established.
A collective process
In setting rules for a happier household, it must be a collective process. While parents may assume that they already know what their kids want, it’s great to involve them. In fact, that should be one of the rules! In decision-making, it’s best to involve everyone.
Set rules to keep the house clean
There should be house rules that ensure that your home is clean and orderly. The task of cleaning the house should not be the responsibility of one member. Each member should do his part. Some good rules would be to clean as you go. Members of the household should not burden anyone else with the mess they make.
Also, set a day where you can all help out to clean the house. Assign roles as well and be clear about those roles. For example, “cleaning the house” is too general. Make sure you allocate specific tasks to each person, such as vacuuming the floor, dusting the furniture, cleaning the windows or cleaning the pool.
However, you have to be careful with this. If you assign roles to members of the household, one may complain that his role is more difficult than the other. It’s a good idea to rotate roles. You can also assign a day for each member where they are in charge of certain tasks. Know their availability so they won’t have to make excuses. Always emphasize the need for cleanliness and make everyone understand that it is their home.
Conflicts may arise if you do not keep the house clean. Usually, siblings would fight over their things. It also drives everyone crazy if someone misplaces something important. This won’t happen in a clean and orderly home where everyone knows where to find everything because everything has its proper place.
Set rules to keep everyone safe
Set a curfew. Make everyone understand that their safety is very important and that going home late is a burden to members of the household who want to rest early. Naturally, a parent would worry and won’t be able to sleep until everyone is at home. Tell them that aside from their safety, it’s also a matter of common courtesy. It’s also very important that the children tell their parents their whereabouts. Make them understand that it can be dangerous outside.
There are also other rules that involve security, such as having visitors. Make sure that they don’t just indiscriminately bring anyone inside the house and that they don’t let strangers in. Have simple rules like locking the main door always, closing the gate at night, never open the back door unless it is an emergency, and other safety measures.
Manage finances and be transparent
All shared expenses should be known to everyone and the contributions must be clear. How much does a member share? Who is responsible for taking care of this bill? Money can be a common source of conflict that is why there should be rules. Pay bills on time. Teach your child to be responsible with money. If he or she needs to ask for money, make sure they know that they should ask ahead of time so you can prepare for it. Couples should have their finances sorted out between them as well.
Mandatory family time
It doesn’t have to be seven days a week. It could be at least 2 evenings a week. Each member of the family will have his own schedule, especially if the kids are all grown up. However, family time must not be compromised. No matter how busy, everyone should learn how to make time for the family. This will also afford busy members the rest they deprive themselves. Just being at home, preparing and eating food together, watching a movie together is enough. It doesn’t have to be grand.
Remembering birthdays and anniversaries, celebrating special days
Make every member of the family feel special. That’s what family is for.
Birthdays should never be forgotten. Anniversaries too. Whenever someone achieves something, no matter how big or small, it must also be celebrated! Even during failures, the family should be there to cheer you up and make you feel better. The family, after all, is our number one support system.
Life coaching can help you sort out many of these issues too.